so horny it's ridiculous right now.
- Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
- Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
- Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me
too many bowls of that green, no lucky charms
you’re the one I’ll remember fifty years from now…don’t forget me
Top three reasons why I wish I was a guy:
- I don’t have to give birth to a watermelon and break my motherfucking vagina
- I don’t have to get punched in the uterus every fucking month and want to kill over
- I don’t have to shave basically every fucking inch on my body
- I want to know what a boner feels like.